Have you ever been aware that you are awake but some part of you is asleep and you go through life just coasting on that while pushing yourself to varying degrees of maximumness? And then you never see where your gaze turns, or know where your fingers go from key to key, or from grasping one object to grasping another, the mind sewing ideas and applications one after another faster and faster. And all the while, that zombie part takes control, sneaks around, switching some things off, jamming the rest everytime you are too excited, or too fatigued to see what’s really really going on. And then you’re feeling pain and you don’t know why its hurting, and the pain wakes you up, and see crimson and you ask yourself “What did I do?”, plus several expletives that you never say in public but reserve for yourself when you figure out you did something equivalent of leaving an atomic cooking stove on at home while you went out for a business trip overseas and you placed a huge written reminder to not do that just very thing under the peephole of your dwelling’s frontdoor the night before you set off.
And when it’s in front of your eyes, do you ever feel like the most you can do is to say over and over again “Thank you” that a thing or two still lays intact from underneath the wreckage?
Wounds from a friend(and I believe you are) are received as well-meant, but an enemy’s kisses are insincere.
Let the righteous strike me (when I sin), let him correct me; it will be an act of love. Let my head not refuse such choice oil for my prayer is always against those who are wicked and act wickedly (meaning to say that I would in effect be praying against myself if I went that way. And so the righteous would have saved me from being wicked).